It has been almost a week since I last blogged...I have been sick with the WORST flu of my life.  I have spent nearly the last week in bed and I am SICK of it.  Nothing I seem to be doing is working.  I go from being freezing cold to burning hot.  Coughing up a lung to feeling like I am crawling out of my skin.  This is the worst I have felt in years.  Every day I wake up hoping that I will feel close to 100% but I would say I am still at about 50%.  For all of you out there who have not been hit with this superbug, YOU ARE LUCKY!!!!!!!!

As if being sick with a flu and bed ridden isn't bad enough I have been abnormally emotional and having extremely bad anxiety.  I cannot explain into words what exactly this feels like because I have never experienced it (no, I am NOT pregnant!).  I cried to Greg yesterday on the phone because I told him I couldn't rest without him?!  Talk about codependency!  As much as I would love to just lay around in bed for the remainder of the week I am trying to force myself into some form of normalcy.  So far it is not working....

On a lighter note amongst all this emotional sickness I have been extremely in tune with my feelings.  I feel so grateful to have a warm bed to take refuge in, a loving and supportive boyfriend who has been more than a gracious caregiver to me, a doggie who snuggled up on the couch next to me and kissed my face while I cried over nothing, a family who is very caring of me being sick, wonderful roommates, and a slow week at work so that I could come and go as needed.  I seem to get overly emotional over all the good things in my life when i feel like complete crap because it highlights how great those good things really are. 

Especially Greg....he is really, REALLY great.  Even after 6 1/2 years of dating I am SO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN!!!  This last year has been the most real, raw, and mature year of our relationship.  I feel like we are that "old married couple" that stays in on the weekends that people love to hate on but secretly which that they were.  He is my everything and I cannot imagine my life without him in it.  How did I get to be so lucky that my FIRST love is my ONLY love!??  I prayed to God for a fairytale kind of love, I wanted to save my heart and soul for someone who would care for it with the utmost regard.  I have that person and I cannot help but say THANK YOU JESUS!! 

........yes, it is those sickly emotions coming out again. 

This is a very pointless, boring post.  I apologize.  I just wanted to signify that I am still alive, barely, but I am.  The sun is shining and I am hoping that the worst is over with and that I can start getting back into my routine.  If only I could find someone to do this Evaluation Essay for me then I would be 100 times better!  Or if I could just snuggle up to my love on a beach somewhere....better stop this post before I allow myself to go into another emotional rant.