I am having one of those days.
The kind of days where the weight of your life seems to rest on your shoulders.
I am 23 years old.
I have an excellent job.
A wonderful boyfriend.
The best family.
Education.
Supportive friends.
Opportunity.
And yet, I cannot make up my mind.
I feel like my life is losing its inspirational luster.
I have filled this void with a busy work and school schedule,
but now its wide open and needing to be filled.
Why can't I figure out what I want to be when I grow up!?
It is so hard to make such a huge decision
with an indecisive heart.
I keep telling myself not to think so much
and instead try to listen.
I have faith in the big plan
but right now the decisions are resting heavily on my shoulders.
I am scared of leaving what is comfortable
to only be disappointed.
I am scared of taking a leap of faith
and failing.
I am scared of investing my health and happiness
for the hope of a better future.
Once again fear is dictating my life.
Luckily I don't have to make any decisions today.
Instead I get to look out my windows
at this beautiful day
and just be content with where I am now.
It is just one of those days.
How refreshing to read this. You see , I too share the same thoughts constantly. Taking the leap of faith, well why not? A good friend of mine here always asks me, "Why not?"
ReplyDeleteFor me, I always feel uneasy with life's drawing board in hand, as its handled with a permanent pen. But, on the flip side, this board has infinite space, like those table clothes at macaroni grill, you can always draw somewhere else. :D
In that movie Amelie they say at the end, "Life is like one rehearsal for a show that will never play." As assuring and depressing this statement is simultaneously, it reminds us that we cannot lose track of embracing the mystery and "what if's" in life.
:D