Reflection.

Coming back home to Folsom was hard.  Reality's bite was harsh and stung.  I resented it at first; I felt like I was suffocating.  During the last 24 hours I have been editing, uploading, and browsing through all of our pictures so desperately wanting to go back.  To be in that moment again.  Instead I am back to my office, looking out at the same view that I have been seeing for the last 2 years.  You really don't appreciate the people, places, and things that have become the norm.  Instead I always crave something new, exciting, and different.  I am realizing that although I love traveling, I also need the stability and warmth of home. 

The first couple hours back at work were the hardest part.  The air felt stale.  I instantly fantasized about simply packing up my office and leaving.  I started thinking about where I would go, how I could make money as I went, I started mapping out a future full of travels and passions.  Ultimately though my mind would always wander back to HERE.  How I would miss my love, my dog, my family, my house, my friends, my job, school.  As the day progressed things lightened up.  I am gearing up to take over running the business, something that I am eager for.  I get to spread my wings and make this opportunity how I want it to be.  How incredible that I have been given such an awesome experience at the tender age of 22.  I will not pass this up.  No way, Jose.  I have a family here who care about me and want me to be happy, not everyone is that lucky.  Plus, I may be able to give my little sister an opportunity for a job which will ultimately help her future.  This makes the cup that much more full. 

Prior to my trip things were falling apart for me.  I felt lost, confused, resentful, and sugar coated with false hopes and optimism.  I saw the good in my life but couldn't fully appreciate them.  My relationship was teetering down quickly, we had lost sight of each other and were reaching the breaking point.  I had high expectations for this trip and it surpassed everything that I hoped for.  I have found a deeper appreciation than I ever thought possible.  I have found a deeper level of love than I ever thought possible.  I have found passion and inspiration.  I have realized that I can't map out my life but rather indulge in every moment that I am given to create my own path. 

Now when I look out my window it takes me back to our Contiki bus; where I gazed out the window at the passing beauty and contemplated about life.  Only here will not pass but rather remain.