Everyone lies.

If you claim that you don't,

well, you are lying.

Whether it be small fibs, half truths, blatant lies, or hurtful deceit.

They are all lies

and they all hurt just the same.

Being lied to sucks.

It is like a dagger to your heart.

Whats worse is when you know you are being lied to

and yet the person tries to dig their way out and convince you of their truth.

Now that becomes more than just a lie,

that becomes a character flaw.

A frightening one.

I learned a lot about myself this weekend.

I have made tremendous progress with my emotions.

I suffered from chronic depression for far too long.

I was too stubborn to admit I needed help.

I didn't want it.

I hated the thought of being on anti-depressants.

But I hated the way I felt and acted even more.

So I got help.

Before seeking intervention for my depression I dealt with things in a destructive way.

When I felt hurt, I acted out in anger to protect myself.

Only this 'protection' slowly deteriorated.

It found me in the darkest hours of my life.

It took me to places I never thought imagineable.

It caused me to become someone I did not recognize.

I quickly learned that this anger was a secondary emotion.

It was easier for me to yell and throw things than it was to cry.

These behaviors were learned throughout my life,

but I knew that they were not right.

So, I sought out to change them

and thus began the hardest, most rawly honest journey in my life.

This weekend proved to me that I have changed.

I was hurt. Badly.

My first reaction was not anger,

I did not even yell.

Instead I cried. I cried a lot.

I was vulnerable and feeling the feelings.

I did not shut down but instead opened up.

I allowed myself to be honest with my hurt.

It felt good.

We all lie.

For different reasons, but there is always a reason.

We all have hurts.

For different reasons, but there is always a reason.

But, not all of us can forgive.

For different reasons, but there is always a reason.