Our lives with IBD

This is our life unfiltered.  This is our lives with IBD. 

Greg went to see a Crohns Specialist to get a second opinion about his upcoming operation.  Yesterday he stayed home from work due to the pain near the obstruction.  I am not sure if it was just the stress and fear of his upcoming appointment that caused the reaction or if something triggered it.  (We are still trying to figure out all of his triggers).  Either way he spent the majority of his day in bed with a heating pad on his stomach.  There is nothing worse than seeing someone you love in pain and going through this.  Especially when you know firsthand just how terrible it is. 

...Greg and I have always made a joke about the fact that we both have IBD (irritable bowel disease, not to be confused with IBS which is just a sydrome).  He has Crohns, I have Ulcerative Colitis.  We say that we are the perfect match made in IBD heaven!....or God is playing a cruel joke on us!!  Now what makes this story unique is that when we first met and started dating I was in and out of the hospital, severely sick, and he had yet to be diagnosed.  The thought hadn't even crossed his mind!  After about two years I was able to get my case into remission and just as I got well he began the symptoms.  My Mom and I would always say "you have what I have!"  Sure enough, he did have what I had, only worse....

This morning I came home from the gym and whipped us up a juice.  I could hear the shower upstairs and knew that Greg was running late this morning.  Normally he juices before he leaves for work but today was a different schedule and he had over slept.  I couldn't blame him though, I hit snooze on the alarm 3 times and seriously contemplated not getting out of bed.  My bed was just so comfortable this morning.  He must have been in the same daze.  I was cleaning up the juicer when he came downstairs.  I looked at the two cups and noticed one was more orange and one was green.  I knew Greg was going to pick the one that looked like it had less spinach and kale and more carrots.  (both were equal I just happened to juice the carrots last in the second cup).  YEP.  He reached for it and we both laughed as we gulped down our days worth of vitamins in a cup.  Juicing has been one of the best things for Greg, it has allowed his body to absorb the nutrients he needs to get well. 

I kissed him goodbye.  The rest of the morning all I could think about was him.  Just yesterday I had gone to lunch with my aunt and had a breakdown over the current situation. I was surprised at how quickly the tears came.  I always try to be the strong one.  I always try to keep Greg optimisitc about something more we can do.  Or that this time it will be different.  I know he doesn't believe me though, I could tell by his texts this morning. 

I love you boo.  Good luck
--thanks baby.  I'm so scared.  My stomach is in knots and my fistula is killing me.

I am scared too.  I hate seeing you have to go through this.  You'll be ok though.  This will be the last time.  Just be strong.
--I'm trying but it's wearing me down.  This constant pain is so hard.

I know, trust me, I understand.  But this is OUR year.  We are both going to beat this. 

About 40 minutes later he called.  I could hear the upset in his voice as I asked him how it went.  All he muttered was "not good, surgery is on the 14th."  I tried, unsuccessfully, to cheer him up and be optimistic.  He was silent.  I asked him how long he would be at the hospital afterward.  "Two weeks." he said, I could hardely swallow my coffee before I blurted out " TWO weeks!?!"  It already felt like eternity.  I hate him not being home, let alone a 40 minute drive away for two weeks?!  I once again tried to be optimisitic and said that maybe they could let him home early and that my Mom and I could be him home nurses like last time.  Once again he was silent.  I knew that he wanted to cry, I could hear him holding it back.  I told him I loved him and we hung up the phone.

1 New Message from: Ahh Boo Boo (his name in my phone for the last 5 years so he is the first contact in my phone book) 

Looks like our anniversary is ruined. 
--Its ok baby, we already celebrate it every day. 

Our 6 year anniversary is on January 15th, a day after his operation.  Although its not exactly an ideal way to spend an anniversary, its really not that important.  It is just another day.  It just happens to be the day we put a label on our love, so what.  We celebrate our love every day.  Plus, its another obstacle, another experience bonding us closer and making our love for each other stronger.  These are the blessings in disguise.  We are lucky to have one another.  We are lucky to have each others support.  We are especially lucky to have each others understanding. 

The other day I was looking through old letters, notes, and cards that I have given Greg throughout the years.  It was so funny reading some of the things back from 04, 05, and 06.  One card in particular stood out to me, it was his 23rd birthday card.  I had written about "how old" he was and realized that I am now that old.  I have changed so much since then, he has changed so much since then, our love has changed so much since then.  We are just the lucky ones who have changed together.